The Ethos of Professional Courtesy

Is it fair for a real estate agent to try to steal another agent’s client?

What if it’s in that client’s best interests to switch?

This issue came up recently in a discussion on the Inman Coast to Coast group on Facebook, sparked by a comment from a broker complaining about a Redfin practice.  Apparently, when user look at a house on Redfin’s site, Redfin will ask them if they’re working with an agent, and if they say “yes,” Redfin will then ask “Are you open to switching to a Redfin Agent?”, with a whole host of reasons as to why that would be a good thing.

The poster thought this was pretty dirty, and said he lost a lot of respect for Redfin for trying to do this.

A lot of people agreed with him, arguing that (1) it was unethical, a violation of whatever clause in the Code of Ethics they could find that might apply, (2) illegal, if the client had an exclusive right to buy agreement, and probably a bunch of other things.

I only found out about the discussion when I saw a post from my friend Rob Hahn at The Notorious R.O.B., who had his typically smart, discursive, and thoroughly contrarian take on the issue, where he went through the legal and ethical arguments, found them wanting, and concluded like this:

The big “no-no” here appears to be asking whether the buyer is open to switching or not.I don’t know what to say here, other than the fact that some agents are acting like crazy jealous boyfriends. If she loves you, who cares that some dude propositioned her — as long as he isn’t harassingher. If she doesn’t love you… then like Sir Mix-a-lot said, “If you don’t have game, then let her leave your world.

Get over it. You don’t own the client. And honestly, if you’re relying on “WE HAVE A CONTRACT!” to hold on to a client who wants to leave yo’ ass… you’re part of the problem. Every good REALTOR I know lets the client out of any contract, the minute the client wants out. Just think how the consumer thinks of the REALTOR profession when you start threatening legal action and such.

It’s like… your wife comes to you and says, “I want a divorce.” And you’re all, “NOPE! We have a contract! We swore an oath before God and all these witnesses. You can’t leave!” That’s not going to make her go, “You know, I thought this marriage was over, but now that you mentioned CONTRACT, never mind then. Maybe I still am in love with you.” It’s the opposite. She’s going to think you’re crazy and a creep.

Don’t be that person. If the client wants to go, set them free. Free, free, set them free.

Here’s my take.  I think that everyone is overthinking things.

It’s not about law.  It’s not about ethics.  It’s about professional courtesy.

Here’s what I mean.  Years ago, when I first started in the business, I was talking to an experienced agents about open houses. And it came up that when a customer comes to the open house and explains that they’re working with an agent, it’s hands off. You don’t try to solicit that customer. You might be really nice, and try to impress them with how much more wonderful you are than their agent in the hopes that they’ll reach out to you, but otherwise it’s hands off.

I couldn’t understand that. I said to her, “hey, they’re at your open house, the agent didn’t come with them, it’s not your job to protect that agent. If you can poach them, poach them. LET’S GET ‘EM!”

And she looked at me like I was a jackass, and explained, “Nobody does that. Nobody.  You know why?  it’s because it’s a good thing that an agent in the business can sometimes take a Sunday afternoon off, and not have to schlep to every open house with every buyer.”

In other words, it was a professional courtesy.  Yes, we could try to steal clients at an open house, but we don’t, because it’s not a nice thing to do, and we don’t want it done to us.  It’s not an ethics thing, it’s not a legal thing, it’s about professional courtesy.

Every profession and industry has a set of unwritten rules like this.  All of them.  For example, I’ve been a lawyer on deadline, and I’ve called other attorneys to ask for an extension.  They don’t have to give it to me. They could stick it to me.  That would be totally legal, and totally ethical.  But they rarely do. And I never do it to them, either.  Why? Professional courtesy. We’re all in this together.

And that’s especially true in our industry, which is built on cooperation, and reciprocity.  Yeah, as Rob points out, maybe there’s a marginal difference for a buyer on Redfin’s platform to see the listing a little quicker if she switches agents. But it was also maybe in the interests of those buyers at the open house to commit to working with the agent sitting there, rather than be loyal to the agent they were working with.

But I don’t think it’s in the best interests of consumers overall if the fluidity of this industry breaks down. That way lies madness. That way ends up with brokers eliminating cooperating broker commissions.  That way leads to everyone hoarding their own listings, and not sharing, and not working together, and not trusting each other.

People who idolize disruptors sometimes think that disruption only eliminates the bad parts of an industry: the inefficiencies, the anti-client behavior. But sometimes, disruption also impacts what’s good about an industry, and it’s not always easy to navigate that line where you’re throwing out the bad, but keeping the good.

I honestly believe that this kind of professional courtesy, part of the general practice of cooperation among brokers and agents, is what makes this industry work. It’s what creates the fluid market that every homeowner, home seller, and home buyer enjoys. You want to buy a home? You can go to any agent, any broker, and they can show you everything that’s on the market.  That’s not true in every industry.

That’s not about eth-ics, it’s about eth-os.

And I just don’t think it’s worth risking the corruption of that ethos to steal a buyer here or there.

Redfin shouldn’t, either.